Hollywood Here I Come – Miller Mosaic LLC

I was looking in my clothes closet the other day. Some people might say their wardrobe closet instead of clothes closet. Anyway, if you want to call it the wardrobe closet, I got to thinking of Hollywood and the wardrobe departments for movie productions. (It’s the wardrobe department that supplies the various props and clothes outfits for the pictures the studio is shooting.)

I looked in my wardrobe closet and thought what if I were supplying items for a John Wayne-type western? Look, there is a great cowboy hat that has been lying on the shelf since 1980. It’s the hat I picked up at Wall Drug in South Dakota as my wife and I accompanied our daughter and son-in-law on their trip from Chicago to California. It’s dusty enough and it’s out of shape, but a perfect prop for a western movie.

Now if we were shooting a sinister or murder mystery movie I have the perfect dark black business suit. It’s wrinkled because whenever I wear it, which isn’t too often, I just put it back on the hangar without sending it to the cleaner. As you would notice, it is also a little baggy and slightly frayed at the cuffs, but it would look ideal for a down-and-out detective investigating a murder scene.

Now if it were a baseball movie like “Field of Dreams” I have my old baseball uniform of about 70 years ago. I could not wear it because my tummy has grown a little since my old baseball days. The pants still have the look of having slid into second base a good many times, but that would make the uniform more realistic.

If it were to be a flea market scene I have an assortment of ties that could be found in that type of venue. Old, grease-stained, discolored, and what have you. A bargain at any price is what the vendor would tell the actor approaching the stall in the market.

For the casting of what to wear for a scene in a movie such as “La Cage aux Folles” I have a few left over 1950s pink shirts, the kind one cannot give away for fear that wearing it could be taken the wrong way. I also have a lovely pink sweater to go along with the pink shirt.

Other items I might mention are the bow ties to be used for those collegiate school movies and some old sport jackets with the leather trim on the elbows, which might be used for an English-type movie.

If I happen to get a call from any of the major movie studios for a prop or clothes item I can’t supply from my wardrobe closet, may I call on you to see if you could help me out?

Albert Zimbler is a 92-year-old author of six humor short story books on Amazon of which MORE DATING AND MATING SECRETS OF SENIORS AND OTHER HUMOR SHORT STORIES is the latest. He also teaches senior improv.