Maybe It’s Not for Us
“Ms. Dolton, I don’t know. Helen, dear, what do you think?”
“Sam, I think it’s the place for us.”
Ms. Dolton, the real estate agent, turned to Sam and said, “Sam, I think you should agree with your wife.”
Sam replied, “Yes, it’s a beautiful three-bedroom condo right on the shore here in Miami Beach but I’m still not sure about purchasing it.”
“Sam,” Helen said, “be nice. Ms. Dolton took time today, which is Christmas Eve, just to show us this unit instead of being out shopping.”
“I’m sorry, Ms. Dolton, if I insulted you, but I’m still not convinced that this condo is for us.”
“Sam,” Helen said, “the view is lovely and the grandchildren will love it when they visit.”
“Ms. Dolton, you said the asking price for this condo is $269,000?”
“Yes, it’s a steal because last winter it was listed for $329,000, and, if you agree, I will make an offer of $250,000. I think the sellers will agree to sell at that price if you pay cash and do not have to get a mortgage.”
“That’s still a lot of money, Ms. Dolton.”
“Sam, dear, it’s really a bargain for what we would be getting.”
“How old is this building, Ms. Dolton?”
“Sam, this building is exactly two years old.”
“Why are the owners selling?”
“The owners just died and the estate is selling the condo.”
“How old were the people who lived here?”
“They were 89 and 87.”
“What happened to them?”
“They died in a boating accident.”
“How?”
“Their boat hit the dock when they were coming in to refuel and they were both thrown overboard and drowned.”
“Sam, stop already and say yes to Ms. Dolton to make the offer.”
“Helen, before I say yes, I would like to ask Ms. Dolton what the monthly maintenance assessment is.”
“It’s $635 per month.”
“What about the real estate taxes?”
“They are $4,200 yearly.”
“That’s a lot of money per year for a winter vacation.”
“Not really,” Ms. Dolton said, “for with that you get an Olympic-size swimming pool with your own private cabana and the free use of the two 18-hole Tiger Woods-designed golf courses.”
“Ms. Dolton, just one more question. Who will our neighbors be?”
“There are no neighbors as there is only one unit per floor in this condo building.”
“Any other perks that go with the purchase?”
“Many. The entire building is wired for HD television as well as for computers and there is even a two-bedroom condo on the first floor available for daily rental should you have guests staying overnight and you do not wish to have them sleep in your condo.”
“Ms. Dolton, please sit down while I write this $250,000 check for you to go and make the offer.”
© 2017 Albert Zimbler
Albert Zimbler is a 92-year-old author of six humor short story books on Amazon of which MORE DATING AND MATING SECRETS OF SENIORS AND OTHER HUMOR SHORT STORIES is the latest. He also teaches senior improv.
Click here for an interview of Al Zimbler on “The Daily Author.”