Meet the Parents – Miller Mosaic LLC

The telephone rang at 6 a.m. in the honeymoon suite of Chana and Solomon the morning after their wedding. Solomon was awakened from a wonderful dream of getting married. He reached across the body of his sleeping wife. Wow, he thought, I am married and this woman is my wife and it wasn’t a dream. And who is calling this early in the morning?

“Yes, this is Solomon and who do you want?” He nudged the sleeping body next to him and handed Chana the telephone.

“Oh, it’s you, Mom. For gosh sakes it’s 6 a.m. Yes, I know that Dad gets up early each morning to make rounds at the hospital but he told me he was taking the day off today. Did you forget that I got married last night? I am a married woman now and it’s none of your business.

“You still want to know how it was. Oh, you mean about counting the money. I thought you meant something else. Some of the relatives were really generous while some of the other guests thought they were paying for a meal at a buffet restaurant.

“I don’t think we can make it down to the dining room by 8 a.m. but we will be there by 8:30 so you and Dad go there early and find a table. What did you just say? Solomon’s parents are also going to join us for breakfast. How can that be? What, they stayed here at the hotel, too, and you were on one side of our room while they were on the other side of our room?

“Solomon, wake up. Yes, I know it’s only 6 a.m. but I am fully awake and we don’t have to be downstairs for breakfast until 8:30. Solomon, what? Just because you still have a large supply of those things left doesn’t mean we have to use them all at one time. Oh, you bought that many because we are going to honeymoon in Italy and those things may not be sold in a Catholic country. Yes, I know you are a great one for being prepared for emergencies.”

***

“Solomon, I’m out of the shower and I can hear the telephone ringing. Please answer it.”

“Hello, Dad. Chana, it’s my father and he’s with my mother and – what? That’s none of your business. No, don’t ask Chana either. I’m a married man now. Dad, we are to have breakfast with Chana’s parents at 8:30 this morning. And now you are also going to be there, compliments of Chana’s parents’ invitation to you and Mom.”

Exactly at 8:30 a.m. Solomon and Chana entered the hotel dining room. They could not help noticing the tired looks on both sets of parents. If they could have eavesdropped for the previous hour that the parents had been waiting Solomon and Chana, they would have heard the following conversation among them:

“We didn’t sleep a wink the entire night,” Morris and Sadie, the parents of Chana, said to Michael and Rena, the parents of Solomon. “We didn’t either,” Solomon’s parents said.

“It really wasn’t nice of us to do what we did,” Sadie said, “but Chana is our only child. And Morris with his stethoscope pressed against the wall and me listening from the bathroom wall, I can tell you that we didn’t get much sleep. Besides which, neither of us heard a thing from the kids’ room. You know, it’s not like newlyweds not to make noise in their room on their wedding night.”

Michael said, “I tried to listen, too, by putting my ear next to the wall. But for me it was very difficult because my hearing aid batteries died and I didn’t have any replacements with me. I asked Rena to come over to see if she could hear anything but she just yelled at me to let her sleep.”

Solomon and Chana grinned as they all kissed each other before sitting down.

“Dad,” Chana said to her father, “could you look at Solomon’s – toe?” The four parents looked at Chana and then at Solomon. Solomon’s face turned red. Chana continued, “Dad, last night he hurt his toe.” Morris turned to Solomon and asked how he hurt his – toe, all the while trying not to laugh. “I will tell you later,” Solomon said.

Then the six of them looked at the breakfast menu and, before ordering, the four parents, as if planned, spoke to Solomon and Chana: “So when are we going to be grandparents?”

Albert Zimbler is the 93-year-old author of six humor short story books on Amazon of which MORE DATING AND MATING SECRETS OF SENIORS AND OTHER HUMOR SHORT STORIES is the latest. He also teaches senior improv.

Click here for a video of the presentation by Al Zimbler on the inspiration for his humorous stories given to the MEL (Men Enjoying Leisure) group in Chicago to which he belongs.

Click here for an interview of Al Zimbler on “The Daily Author.”