Beware of Social Media Disrupting Family Harmony

I have been an active user of social media since 2008, and yet I always caution people on their use of social media. In the coming year of 2020 it might be a good idea to take a few minutes and consider how seemingly innocent posting of photos or information can disrupt family harmony and even career intentions.

A friend of mine told me her New York City adult daughter was very upset when she discovered from an Instagram photo that her brother and his wife had been in New York without contacting her. The same friend had gotten an angry response from a first cousin in Germany who discovered, after the same adult daughter posted information on Facebook, that my friend and her husband had been in Europe without stopping off to see the first cousin.

The family harmony lesson in both cases is clear:

If you do not want people to know what you are legitimately doing, do not post the information on social media. Chances are those people will see the posted information.

That’s why I caution people to make a distinction between sharing personal and private information online.

Personal can be information that interests you — such as retweeting information of a public service nature. For example, I often retweet from the Twitter accounts of the documentary WHO WILL WRITE OUR HISTORY (@writeourhistory) and the nonprofit FILM2FUTURE (@Film2future).

Private information can be personal details such as you’re away from your home for an extended period (possibly alerting unscrupulous people that your home may be empty) or posting your phone number in a public forum.

In my three HOW TO SUCCEED books for teens and young adults — the first page of each book is devoted to warning young people to never put anything online that could be harmful to themselves — NO MATTER HOW SECURE THEY THINK THE INFORMATION IS.

This is an important warning for job and college applications as well as to hopefully protect yourself against scams. A friend recently got a phone call purporting to be from her grandson in New York. While some of the details were correct, the use of the word “Grandma” when that is not what she is called by the grandson was an immediate tip-off to a scam attempt.

Social media can be a wonderful addition to our lives — making us aware of so many interesting things we might not otherwise know — but, as with most things in life, it needs to be utilized with a big heaping serving of common sense.

In 2020 I hope we all use social media for good — and avoid hurting the feelings of our family members by thoughtlessly posting information we don’t wish them to know. Alternatively, tell your family members when you’re going to be in their city!